Why I haven't been around online the last few weeks...

I’m BACK :)  

As you may possibly have noticed, I’ve been more or less “absent” online in the last few weeks…today I finally have the energy to connect again, so here I gratefully am :)

I want to share what has been unfolding for me this end the last few weeks… I basically became uncharacteristically extremely unwell and ended up in bed for almost two weeks. I believe the situation began with some kind of infection or virus, then spiraled from there, leaving me still slowly rebuilding my energy daily right now.

On the morning of October the 10^th I awoke to a sudden very odd sensation in my head and body…a lot of pressure in my head, a feeling of “not being in” my body, vision behaving strangely and so on…after a few hours I laid down again and pretty much ended up in bed for the next two weeks, bizarre symptoms playing themselves out over time…hot and cold flushes, sweating, semi-delirium, complete loss of appetite, pressure in head, extremely low energy, strange vision, huge difficulty moving the physical body and so on…

This illness was extremely odd for me to experience, as I am *not* used to feeling ill anymore at all… At this point now today, all of the strange “symptoms” have passed and I am more or less back to my usual self, though it definitely feels like I am still rebuilding my vital energy day by day…my sleep pattern had also become completely messed up from being in bed so long, so I am still working on getting back into a more typical flow… 

 

More than anything, I am left with a deep and clear message once again in my life that *health is the greatest wealth* - trulytrulytruly, without our health, we have so little…health and vitality are such incredible gifts, so often overlooked I feel, when we are used to having them with us… 

While I was in that semi-comatose state in bed, I would see what other people were doing around me, how fast they moved, how quickly they could think and speak, the number of things they could do in a day and I was just in complete awe…from the place I was in, it all looked *impossible* - in the space of a day it was literally all I could do to drink some juices, eat something and shower – the rest of the time I was just there, in bed, in a daze of symptoms and semi-delirium…very odd to experience…

When I would connect to Spirit during this time and ask them what was going on, I always got the same response – an overall “blankness”, basically a message to "keep out of it", the over-arcing feeling that everything is fine and being taken care of – I may not understand the process at play now, that doesn’t matter, I am still being supported and carried and at some point it will all make sense, this is a necessary part of the process… The message seemed to be more or less: “you just do what you can to keep the physical body alive right now and we’ll take care of the rest, at some point this will all make sense.” Wow…pretty bizarre to be experiencing…just trusting in the unfolding flow, especially as I pretty much had no option in terms of energy anyway; I could barely move or think, so it all very much felt like a space of surrender and waiting to see what was unfolding…I felt much like I imagine a caterpillar does as it languishes and liquefies in the chrysalis, deconstructing into a mush, trusting the process and eventually emerging on the other side, brighter, stronger and ultimately transformed… :)

Now that I am more-or-less out the other side of this health “drama”, it is amazing to me to be able, for example, to make a batch of flax crackers, as I did yesterday…I had wanted to do that for about two weeks, yet it literally would have felt impossible for me to do so even a week ago…to note yesterday that there was enough vital energy back flowing through my system to perform such a task without feeling completely and utterly exhausted by the end of it was such a bright blessing and I am so grateful :)

This experience the last few weeks reminds me of a similar illness I experienced when I was about nine years of age – as I recall it came on just as suddenly and left me totally wiped out on the sofa for more than a week, swirling in symptoms and semi-delirium… No-one ever knew what it was I was dealing with, it just came, did whatever it did and moved on…

Perhaps my current detox process just finally hit that age of my life and I am reversing back through that curious stage again – who knows… ;) I do recall that after I came through that experience at the age of nine and finally had some vague appetite again, my parents whisked me up to the local corner shop to buy whatever sweets, chocolates and other treats I would eat – lol – while I certainly won’t be taking that approach this time around, I am definitely grateful to be able to eat again…you may notice that there are no food logs for me here in my blog for the last few weeks – there wasn’t much to make note of and I had no energy to do so anyway… we’ll see if I can get back on track now with making my usual notes… ;) 

For now, I am SOOOOOOOOOOO grateful to still be here in the game, to be feeling more vital life energy in my system day by day, able to walk around again, converse with people, do a few more activities each day, eat and drink with more ease and so on – again, a huge reminder that *health is the greatest wealth* - may you all be feeling truly vibrant and healthy, today and always… :)

All love, 

Angelalalaaaaaaaaaaaaa. xxx