Compulsion

MMmMMmMmmm, well, remarkably, the final stages of editing ‘Raw Emotions’ for print are underway ;) Printing a book is such a looooooooooong process...I am still armpit-deep in comma-straightening, page re-shuffling and so on at present – it’s going to be SO wonderful when it’s ready to share in the PHYSICAL...in the meantime, I thought you might enjoy to read a little excerpt from it today, about compulsion – the following is a personal anecdote about my relationship with food prior to working on my emotional connection with it – ENJOY ;)

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The Absurd Dance of Compulsion
Before I started to work on my emotional transformation, my compulsive behaviour with food was quite remarkable. For example, before Christmas in Iceland (where I used to live), stores usually put out cookies, cakes and candy for customers to enjoy. I would find myself cycling all over the city, from store to store, just to eat the treats on offer. I didn’t actually need anything in the stores, yet in the midst of a cold Icelandic winter, I was willing to bicycle through ice and snow for hours just to eat ‘treats’. Similarly, I used to love going to the bank in Iceland, as they give free hot chocolate. Whenever my partner at the time would say he was going to the bank, I’d excitedly ask, ‘Can I come?’, to his bemusement. I was in the grip of compulsion and food was my focus.
My compulsive behaviour with food probably reached its peak of insanity when I began working in a mainstream café where the staff were permitted to eat whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted…an overeater’s paradise and worst nightmare, rolled into one. Every day I worked there, I ate much more than I physically needed to, time and time again finding myself eating things that caused me physical pain and emotional turmoil. Bread, ice cream, cakes, chips…
For weeks at a time I’d battle my compulsion to overeat, stuffing lump after lump of cake into my mouth. At times, my willpower to stop would win over and I’d be able to halt the madness for some days or even weeks. Overall, however, I was really out of balance. Looking back, I can see how I treated my body like a waste disposal system. I had no sense of honouring my self or making healthy choices about what I consumed. I couldn’t bear to see food ‘go to waste’, so on top of my own multiple meals, I would gobble down leftovers from customers’ plates. It seems insane now, but that was my reality then.
I was actually very ill with a candida overgrowth at that point and ironically, though I’d taken myself off all fruit ‘for health reasons’, I was simultaneously filling myself compulsively with toxic refined sugars. Such is the absurd ‘logic’ of compulsion. I felt very ashamed, hiding my binges from co-workers and it took me a long time to find the courage to even tell my partner about what I was doing.

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If you’d love to read more, ‘Raw Emotions’ can already be purchased in e-book format HERE (printed copy sooooooon, all being well ;)

on November the 7th I had:

1.5 quarts water
1 quart veggie juice: celery, cucumber, Jerusalem artichoke, endive, fennel, spinach, kale, carrot, ginger
2 cups energy soup with okra on the side, followed by a little hand-blended yumpot of hazelnut butter with lucuma powder, buckwheaties, maca powder and carob powder
3 cups water
2 cups veggie juice: celery, cucumber, Jerusalem artichoke, endive, fennel, spinach, kale, carrot, ginger
2 GORGEOUS persimmons
bowl of chia/pomegranate pudding, soaked in cinnamon/almond milk – YUMMMMMMMMMMMMM :)
2 cups water

Mr Monarch has a novel request. He’s interested to know if there’s anyone out there who would be interested to drive his car some day in the coming week from Brighton, Michigan to Chicago, IL, where he will meet up with them. He could then drive the helper back to MI if desired, or onwards to California, or anywhere along the way...if this sounds like an opportunity that YOU would be excited to explore, please feel free to email us at angela@rawreform.com and we’ll get you set up with details...THANKS :)

on November the 8th I had:

1.5 quarts water
shot of wheatgrass juice
bowl of Shellbel’s grawnola with almond/pumpkin seed milk
mug of rooibus tea
3 cups water
1.5 cups greeeeeeen veggie juice: celery, cucumber, kale, spinach, fennel, endive, ginger, lime
3 little new “yumballs” made by the Monarch using soaked goji berries, yacon powder, stevia, maca and brazil nut butter – YUM
2 cups water

I LOVE this hilarious YouTube video sent to us recently via our friend John Roulac of Nutiva. It’s a tongue-in-cheek song called ‘The Man from Marin’ sung by ‘Vir McCoy’ and his two charming chorus girls...lots of raw food references...very amusing methinks ;) So animated, great energy flowing – thanks for sharing, guys :) Check it out at this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQUUFg6p0aE


ENJOY,
All love, bright blessings and deeeeeep breaths into the depths...
Angela. xxx